Clear blue skies, nice hot breeze and warm wine. She could almost forget the dingy balcony, with all the boxes still packed for that magical day when they would move into their “home”.
She pulls a lonely dusty stool from under the broken desk and sits, dress be damned. The wind she was happy for is suddenly a hindrance as she tries to light up her joint.
Deep inhale. Another inhale. Exhale.
She’s getting better at this. Coughing fit, swig of wine but her throat still feels scraped raw from the smoke. A couple puffs later and the sky becomes bluer, the clouds whiter. and the buzzing of the wasps a lot more clearer. She’s halfway through her joint and almost at Numb Town.
Eyelids at half mast and she starts to sway, some random song floats through her lips, damn her voice sounds pretty good.
This is what she wanted, to just get away from the disappointment of her life for a little while. Joint gone, her little voice bursts into a crescendo in the shower, and she giggles through a pizza before lying down feeling happy and safe.
Morning after is atrocious, she got too high and ate too much and now everything is held up by a porcelain bowl. That can be flushed away but what can’t be is that everyday is another step closer to becoming her father.
A man who buckled under all his disappointments and failed dreams who smokes his bitterness and drinks his sorrows and rolls around in his own filth.
She bristles at any mention that she’s just like him, from looks to temperament to tastes.
Everyone tells her she’s damned for treating him the way she does, but she wouldn’t if he didn’t do the same to her. She tries to be civil, diplomatic but then he launches a sneak attack and she was not raised to take that lying down.
Her biggest fear is ending up just like him. And everyday that seems more of a possibility and the thought makes her bristle with rage.
She’s done with serving coffee, drinking and getting high. Tomorrow, tomorrow she’s getting her shit together.
Everyday is another battle and one day she’ll win the war.
Today's featured image comes from Tumblr.