In comparison to last week, this week is considerably duller. Which isn’t a totally bad thing except for my schedule which is really messing my body up. Having to get up insanely early the next day, and not having to be at work till much later on in the day; makes me constantly tired. I either wake up way too early or I don’t get enough sleep.
On top of that I’m on my period so I’m mood swinging like crazy. I’m also craving junk food. So far I’ve held off on buying a bag of chips (even the new Cheetos,) or pulling out my hidden Ferrero Rocher stash. On Monday I was craving ravioli so I broke out the pack from the freezer, cooked it and just picked up some of the pieces and ate it while reading. No sauce, no nothing and it was great. Tuesday, I was climbing up the wall for steak and fries. I legit went all caveman like while I waited for the steaks to thaw, and I clawed my way to remove one from the pack. Today, woke up and all I wanted was sausage and pasta. I don’t care how it comes I want sausage and I want pasta.
So I made some fish and quinoa instead to see if that would be enticing. No, it wasn’t so I guess I’ll have that for dinner tonight and tomorrow and I made myself some sausage and pasta and it is great.
Exercised Monday and today and perhaps tomorrow or Friday.
Bah, I am disgusting and loathe myself. Well, I don’t actually loathe myself I have surprisingly come to terms with my appearance and know that I should work out more for ~health~ (but let’s be real here, it’d be just about vanity.) But there are days when I’m like, “You’re kinda cute. Cool!” And that’s pretty great for me I think.
Also, feeling sick. My throat is getting insanely sore and all I ever want to do is lie down. But I can’t because Grace’s birthday party is on Friday but it’ll also get me out of going to Easy which is cool. I mean, even if it wasn’t sick I also wouldn’t go because I know I’ll be dead tired by Friday. I have to work till late tonight (again) and then get up super early for Thursday (again).
On the plus side I’ve read some really good books this week. Just finished Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler and I’m about to finish Restless Virgins by Abigail Jones and Marissa Miley. Will probably put up a separate post for Restless Virgins later because I have a lot of thoughts about this book.
You already know I lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove Why We Broke Up and Ed is just such an asshole. I mean, you always knew he was but if you were completely smitten with him the way Min was (and how I sort of was) it was easy to ignore those parts of him sometimes? But eventually I was like “GOOD, GOOD. I’M GLAD YOU’RE GONE FROM MIN’S LIFE.”
I also really liked how Handler handled (el oh el) Al and Min’s relationship. I could totally understand when Al asks Min, “Would it have made a difference?” and she’s thinking, “Yeah… it might have.” And I kind of understood that because there’d be times I’d start falling for someone because I knew that they were falling for me. Which is totally narcissistic and probably not a true representation of my feelings but … yeah, sometimes that happens.
But anyways it’s a great book, I highly recommend it. Daniel Handler makes Min’s voice so clear you forget that this is a grown man writing as a teenage girl. I especially love one of the ending lines where she’s basically talking about throwing this fancy dinner party with her friends and making all the plans from the menu to the music to the dress code and she goes, “I can see it all, even months and months from now. But you couldn’t see it Ed, you could never see it and that’s why we broke up.” Well it’s not verbatim but that’s the gist of it. It was just a really, really good ending and it wasn’t cliche it was kind of open ended on one of the relationships which I liked.
It made me think about myself and how I don’t think I could last with a guy who couldn’t be excited about the vague future like I was or couldn’t even see our maybe-plans. Or even someone who thought I was super “weird” or whatever. Bah, I don’t even want to think about boys or men right now. I’ll just shove all of that into the EUROPE part of my brain.
I think after this week, everything is going to settle down to it’s normal routine and I’ll have to get my shit together (again) and go on a detox (again) because I think I’ve been feeling like crap because I’ve been eating a lot more crap than usual. Should also start cleaning more, it always makes me feel better. Hm.
Hope y’all having nice days~