I literally devoured Restless Virgins by Abigail Jones and Marissa Miley this week. I picked it up when Janet and I wandered into a BMV and I ended up in the parenting section because I was astounded by all the parenting books there were. There were teen specific to toddlers, self-esteem, teething etc. etc. Not going to lie I reached for this one because the title is so absurd. I thought it would be a book about abstinence and how to “fight your urges” but reading the back I found out it follows a group of seniors during their last year at Milton Academy; which was made famous in 2005 when five members of the varsity hockey team were suspended because a 15 year old girl gave them all head.
The novel follows seven seniors during their last year at Milton at the time the sex scandal took place. The reveal of the “scandal” was incredibly anti-climatic. I mean it was really bad and I don’t wish something even worse happened but the whole book hyped it up SO much only to have it happen in about a sentence and then you barely heard about it again.
I’ve always wanted to go to boarding school. It seems so glamorous and while there are a lot of rules, there’s always a way to go around them. Plus you get top notch education. Not to say that the public school system is terrible but let’s be real here, we can probably all name at least five teachers who did not give a fuck about their students or jobs anymore.
I think what struck me most was the sexual dynamic of the student body. Hooking up meant that you gave a guy a blow job, he didn’t even really have to coerce you to do it. And the guy rarely if ever reciprocated, or if he did he would finger you for twenty seconds and never, ever went down on you. And the girls were okay with it!!!
I think the only girl who was really “empowered” was probably Whitney. Whitney just did it because she enjoyed giving head and the power rush she felt while Annie, Jillian and Isabel did it because they really, just wanted attention from guys.
Maybe if I had been in high school when I read it this would have seemed totally normal to me because reading it now I’m just like “… That would not fly with many of the girls I know.” This book was set in like 2005… these kids are just about two years older than I am but their sexuality seems so warped and far removed from my own.
Probably because I didn’t know anyone or much about sex at this time but two guys double teaming a girl at a party was relegated to another planet that I would reach when I hit my 20s and I was at college, not high school! But I guess sex and sexuality is totally different now that everyone has a smart phone and there is just so much free porn out there. No one really has to guess how this position goes when you can stream a whole video about it and mimic the actors. All the kinks and stuff I use to just giggle and guess about with my friends we can all know in a few seconds.
I think it was just really sad how these were such smart girls with such diverse interests let themselves be treated like shit by these guys and these guys acted like this was totally normal. I mean, one of them, Reed, just looked at this girl at a SCHOOL DANCE for about a minute and then she’s giving him a blow job in the chapel and then he never thinks about her again.
And when the five guys got expelled from school Reed and Brady actually CRIED over this fact… not the fact there were five of them and one fifteen year old girl in this “pressurized situation”. It’s just… SKDJFAKSDJ.
But thinking about it, I DO know some girls who let themselves be treated like shit by guys and it honestly makes me so mad. Like my friend, K, who would do absolutely anything for a guy’s attention. I mean anything. He can lie to her, force himself upon her, never reciprocate (seriously, what the hell?) cheat on her, be mean to her and SHE WILL ALWAYS GO BACK TO HIM. With baked cookies to go along with a five course meal she made for him.
What about your dignity?! How can you let someone treat you this way???? I just don’t understand and thinking about it always makes me so mad lol. I just want to tell her all this but I know she’ll just get pissed at me and then not be my friend and never talk to me again because I don’t have a penis.
I was talking to a coworker about this book and she was like, “They all sound like a bunch of sluts. Ew.”
Which made me roll my eyes at her because I didn’t think any of these girls were “sluts” at all. They were misguided and used yeah but if it was anyone’s fault it was society’s and the guys who just assumed it was their right to treat them this way.
But really, in the end it doesn’t matter if you were a “good” girl or a “bad” girl in high school.. .you’re just going to end up as lost and confused as the rest of us or just as successful as any of us so… yolo.