So it’s exactly seven days before I fly off to Paris and start my summer in Europe.

I’ve finally calmed down and I’m actually really excited now. Like a week prior to this I was still in panic mode and Janet kept texting me my countdown and I wished that she would stop. This is kind of ironic that at the moment I stop freaking out I should probably start freaking out right now because a lot of the trip is not exactly finalized.

When it is suggested that you book your trains at least three months in advanced you should heed that warning and not book it a week in advanced. But I just couldn’t do it because what if on a whim I decide to go somewhere else? But alas that is what I’m frantically trying to do but I’m not dully worried? Okay because of my procrastination I’ve missed out on going to Nice and Monaco but there is always next year.

And then there was a typo in the dates I booked my Paris hostel for (which I did way back in April) and instead of being set for July 27th to August 2nd it ended up reading as August 27th to August 2… you think someone would have been curious about the dates but nope. So my first hostel fell through but never fear! I have booked a second hostel which is cheaper (yay) but it still got really good reviews and I get a free home cooked Korean meal if I want to scrimp some extra euros.

I also got my Paris to Venice train booked so it’s just all the Italy trains that I have to worry about but I’m not super worried about them. (Should I be?) Also three Italy hostels are booked as well and I have at least a day to reschedule any of them if things with the trains don’t quite work out. So basically the first half of my trip is okay, which will get me through the second half that I’m not quite sure about yet.

I basically have a masters in Unable to Plan a Trip.

But good news I got my OSAP!!! So I can afford (the first year) of school lol. Hopefully I can get it again the second time around but this is a huge weight lifted off of me so all in all I’m pretty satisfied with life in general. Even working crazy 12 hour days because I know next week is my last and then I’m outta here~

I guess the only dark cloud in my sky is my mom. I know I said that we get along better (well considerably better than say… a year ago) but she’s such a downer about my trip that I don’t even want to see her before I got at all.

I mean, even Tony who isn’t even my manager and our interactions are pretty minimal gave me twenty bucks just in case I need to call someone in an emergency.

Last night after working ten hours at two different stores then having the subway fuck up and I had to take a streetcar and stuff home, I get there and she’s home and she asked me when I was flying out and I told her next Saturday. I let my dad know and tried to print out all my tickets and stuff but my dad being my dad said he would get around to it and you cannot count on my dad for shit. Except to sink into a pity party table of 1 and yell at everyone around him.

Anyways I don’t know why my mom was so surprised when I told her that I was going to be gone for five weeks like I TOLD YOU SINCE JANUARY. And she’s trying to guilt trip me about how I’m going to be gone, (“Are you even going to school? You are going to have NO money when you get back. How are you even going to pay for school?”)

Daniel got his first job and the little idiot didn’t put that he was unavailable for Sunday when he fucking knows that Sunday is our busiest day at the restaurant. And he is absolutely refusing to change it but somehow *I* am the asshole.

Like I didn’t kill myself working all these months so that I can afford this trip and school. Like I didn’t get into school on my own (lolol as if my parents support me and believe in me), got my OSAP, deposit etc. way before the due date and everything locked down before I go while Daniel is still waiting for someone to do everything for him.

It just kills me that nothing I’ve ever done or sacrificed for the sake of the ~family~ has ever been enough and when I’m finally doing something for MYSELF it’s this huge fucking deal. I honestly don’t even want to see her before I fly out… but I know that will just cause even more problems but fuck.

I was itching to pick a fight last night with her (lol I was just in that mood, tired, irritable, and then that just pissed me off) but I dunno, maybe this will all fade by tomorrow.

It’s just irritating that when you accomplish something you’re really proud of and everyone around you is really happy for you but the one person who should be proud isn’t.

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